So a few weeks ago I went to the library to return a book (which I hadn’t read, but it was overdue by a month) and I thought

‘I want to actually read a book this time. All I do is spend time online. I really think it’s time I just sat down and relaxed the old fashioned way.’

So I searched for a book and pretty quickly I came across ‘1Q84’ by Haruki Murakami. I’d never heard of the author before, but the book was new and looked good from the cover, so without reading the blurb, I signed it out.

Reading the first few chapters was easy. I totally got into it. The whole feel of the book is slightly surreal, and you can understand the characters (to an extent), but the whole book has a dark undertone to it. I’m not saying that ‘s a bad thing- I love it, it’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time (I’m just moving on to book 2).

But today I had a marathon read. When I started, I’d read two chapters at a time, but today I wanted to get through it some more. And as I read, I was more and more absorbed into this neat and clean style of writing.

And then I reached the end of book 1. To me, there was no ending and the book should have just gone on, but I had enjoyed my self. And then..


I sat there. Realizing.

All the characters have lives. Lives that they live. But they are empty. They’re missing happiness or severe emotion. They don’t go out for a laugh with their friends. They don’t ever sit down and watch tv or have a hug with their closest relative. They don’t joke about with anyone at work and they don’t go out to eat or shopping purely to have a good time. Their lives are empty.

And I realised – So is mine.

I’ve been feeling it for a while now. Not an emptyness as such, but as if I’m just waiting for something to happen. My life passes me by as I eat, sleep and work. Surf the net. Make awkward conversation with my ‘friends’.

I put my iPod on shuffle and listened to the first song that came up. Ironically it was  ‘Feel’ by Robbie Williams (NO idea why that’s on there). I looked around my room at my possessions and it felt like they’d all suddenly turned a shade of grey. They had no meaning. What was the point? Why was I even studying? So I could get a job. Why? So I could live in comfort. Why? What’s the point when it will always feel empty. Kind of like something is missing. I stared at my clothes and thought of how much I hate them.

After turning my speakers on full volume with Robbie singing, ‘I don’t wanna die, but I aint too keen on living either..’  I sat down in the middle of the floor and started screaming.

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Posted by on November 17, 2011 in Stuff That Happens


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Answer Anybody?

So I get bored as easily as the next person. I sometimes just find myself sitting doing nothing but staring into blankness. But one day, I was typing a few things into Google (yes I use Google because IT’S BETTER THAN BING!) when I came across this amazing thing called Yahoo Answers. Whenever you want to know something, just type the question into Googla and almost garuanteed, the question will have been asked on Yahoo Answers. So I signed into my account and tried it out.

‘Four of my Fish have died in 2 Days?’ (that’s a story for another time)

I managed to receive around 5 comments in 15 minutes. After that, I was hooked.

I became extremely interested in the ‘Relationships’ section. People would ask what to do about their boyfriends, or if a person liked them based on their behaviour. And then it came to me. Why ask a real question? Where’s the fun in that? So that was the birth of my evening entertainment. The first question was moderately tame:

‘My Boyfriend is cheating on me with my Nan’

But it wasn’t the questions that excited me- it was the description that had me gasping for air, unable to breathe from laughing so hard. Here is my favourite one- it still makes me laugh now:

‘My parents don’t approve of my marriage to my Step-Brother.’

Description: I’ve been with my step-brother around two years now. We moved in together a year ago. We have the same dad but not the same mum, so it’s not incestuous or anything. I just don’t understand why they don’t want anything to do with the wedding! I want my dad to walk me down the isle and be there for the birth of their first grandchild (it’s a girl by the way).

I think writing that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Some of the answers indicated that these people didn’t get what was so wrong with this situation, and it cracked me up.

Of course, I wrote these questions under a fake name, and I still write them today. I asked one of my friends what question I could write next and she said:

‘I find it attractive when people eat their own pus- is this normal?’

And I thought I was twisted.

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Posted by on November 16, 2011 in About Me


Burglar in the Night

I was asleep, dreaming of..I can’t remember now, but it was a good one. Unfortunately I’m a very light sleeper. A creak of a floor board or a softly spoken voice can wake me up instantly, but that night was anything but quiet.

At first I thought it was the rain pounding on my window. My mind was still a bit hazy so I wasn’t very quick on the uptake. I started to relax again when the noise stopped completely before starting again. I lay completely motionless I’d become gripped by the idea that a bat was flying about making a loud rustling noise. In a few seconds, I’d come to the conclusion that turning on the light would only cause it to fly away, so I shot my hand out of the duvet and switched it on.

There was nothing there, but the noise stopped again briefly before continuing quietly. I suddenly realised it was coming from under my sink. I kept non perishable foods in there pasta and noodles and washing powder. And then I realised. Something must have come from through the gap between the wall and the wooden panel of the cupboard. A frightening thought crossed my mind. It could be a rat.

But then logic kicked in. I’m in the country, it’s unlikely rats are going to be running about when there are huge cities to conquer. And the gap in the cupboard is tiny – the size of a £1 coin. It was probably a mouse. Eating my noodles. At four in the morning.


Posted by on November 15, 2011 in Stuff That Happens


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